CRACK!
by Madarao754
Summary: What happens when you combine the Noahs and the exorcists with a metric ass load of crack? Insanity, stupidity and just about everything stupid you can think of! The idea for this was originally my cousin's but she didn't have an account so I made it.


Exorcists, Noahs, and a metric ass load of crack

Wisely was bored he had to admit unless the exorcists were attacking them nothing was going on. Wisely sighed and looked around, if anyone were to walk in on the Noahs now they would think they were dead.

Skin was on the floor drooling since he had fallen asleep. Road dangled from Leroro by the ceiling half asleep. Tyki had his hat pulled over his eyes leaned up against the wall whether he was asleep or not was unknown. Most of the other Noahs were in a Noah pile in the corner some asleep others just blankly staring off into space. The only person who seemed alive beside himself was Tryde. He was standing next to Wisely his arms crossed his head down but then again he hadn't moved from that spot for 4 hours now.

Wisely sighed once more and wished an exorcist would burst through the wall. At the Black Order Cross Marian was thinking the exact same thing except with a Noah. The exorcists and science department were doing the same thing as the Noahs. What really bothered Cross was not even Kanda was training which was the weirdest thing of all.

"_Hey you having the same problem Cross?" said the voice of the wisdom Noah in Cross's head._

"_Yup you to?" replied Cross not at all surprised by the Noah's appearance._

"_Yup," said Wisely. An awkward silence filled the room before Wisely's face lit up. "I got an idea Cross let's get everyone high."_

"_Are you serious?" said Cross his face already breaking into a grin. "That would be awesome, but how?"_

"_Make a bunch of cakes with a metric ass load of crack in them," replied Wisely smiling._

"_I don't know how to make a cake," said Cross stupidly._

"_Uh right here's how you do it," said Wisely and began whispering in Cross's ear. All the while Cross's grin got wider and wider._

Covered in cake batter and frosting Cross stepped out of the kitchen carrying 5 cakes all laced with crack. Cross had taken the time to get everyone in the dining hall so all of them would be drugged.

"You got us cake?" said Lavi happily.

"Yup and everyone gets two pieces even Kanda!" replied Cross smiling. Everyone stormed Cross as they tried to get some cake. After being trampled Cross looked around. The cake platters were all empty and everyone was stuffing their faces with cake. Even Kanda was eating his pieces even though Lavi had to force feed him.

"This is going to be fun!" Cross mumbled to himself.

Elsewhere the same thing was happening with the Noahs. Wisely watched as the other Noahs gobbled down even the smallest crumb.

"Give them a minute," mumbled Wisely smiling evilly.

"Dude I feel like I could kill any exorcist," said SkinBolic flexing his muscles.

"That's nothing I feel I could kill all the exorcists," said Tyki making a butterfly appear.

"Whatever I could destroy the whole Black Order with one hand tied behind my back," boasted Tryde. All the Noahs began boasting about how much power they had and what they could kill.

"Oi!" shouted Wisely; all the Noahs turned to him. "If we're so powerful then we should attack the exorcists."

"Hey Wisely's right we should come on guys," said Tyki busting a hole in the wall with a butterfly.

"This is going to be fun," said Wisely to himself.

An explosion erupted in the cafeteria as the Noahs blasted through the walls.

"It's over exorcists," shouted Skin quoting a stupid villain line.

"AAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" shouted the exorcists as they charged.

All of a sudden Allen stopped his charge as did Skin.

"Hey your hands are all glowly," Allen said pointing at Skins hands.

"Huh I guess they are, your arm is glowly to," responded Skin.

"Want to dance around like morons and sing stupid songs hand in hand?" said Allen deactivating his innocence.

"K," replied Skin taking Allen's arm. They began to do a combination of salsa and waltz across the cafeteria floor. The other exorcists and Noahs saw and began to follow turning the cafeteria into a ballroom. Wisely attempted to not stop breathing from too much laughing but he could not help himself it was too funny. Cross had to hit him in the back to get Wisely to breathe again.

"Oh my god I did not think it would get this funny but this is awesome!" said Wisely after catching his breath.

"Yeah but I know something that'll make this a whole lot funnier," replied Cross running off. He came back lugging 3 carts of beer. He went to the middle of the room and shouted, "BEER!" Everyone turned to him and ran over. They each grabbed a beer and began guzzling it unaware of the idiocy they were about to endure. Then again they were too high to care. They began to dance again only more sloppy and in their underwear. Some of them were completely butt ass naked.

"Uh…I…duh…..!" said Wisely and Cross together as they watched hilarious spectacle. 3 hours later all the drunks and highs were done dancing and were holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

"Dude after awhile this gets kind of boring to watch even if there is yaoi and yuri and a little bit of hinati involved," commented Wisely.

"Yeah…….wanna go to a bar, get drunk, and hopefully get laid?" replied Cross getting up. Wisely blushed turning his face bright red which really clashed with his hair then nodded.

"Come on then," said Cross leaving. Wisely followed still bright red.

At that moment the Millennium Earl came stomping up to the Black Order Gates.

"KOUMI! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY NOAHS?" shouted Earl clearly pissed and in human form.

"I SHOULD ASK YOU THE SAME THING EARL WHERE ARE MY EXORCISTS?" Koumi shouted back also pissed.

"You took them didn't you? They're all probably here kept as prisoners," said Earl.

"Yeah right you're probably holding my exorcists prisoners," spat Koumi.

"Well then we won't know if we check will we? I say we check the Black Order for my Noahs then my place for the exorcists," said Earl stepping inside.

"Very well but no battling not in here," replied Koumi taking the lead.

"Whatever," replied Earl already planning the Order's destruction. Just then both leaders heard music coming from the cafeteria.

"Huh?" they both said at once. They glared at each other than took off running trying to beat the other to the door. They both reached the door at the same time; equally matched they glared at each other sparks flying.

"I'll open the door," they said together and pushed both doors open. Their jaws dropped and they stared in utter amazement at the scene before them. ALL exorcists and ALL Noahs were butt-ass naked holding hands and singing Kumbaya. Empty beer bottles and clothes littered the floor. Evidence of yaoi, yuri, and hinati ranged from cum on the floor and walls and on the people. Cake plates lay everywhere and no one seemed to bother with anything.

"What the hell?" sputtered Earl unable to move.

"Crack," said Koumi picking up a cake plate.

"What?" said Earl still confused.

"The cake is swimming in crack, basically they're all drugged beyond all recognition," said Koumi dropping the plate.

"Well then why don't we join them?" said Earl throwing a beer to Koumi.

"Uh ok," Koumi replied and both of them downed the beers and many more and ended up just like everyone else; butt-ass naked singing Kumbaya.

This whole story just makes you wonder what would happen if the north American base found out about this episode.

Completely and utterly random fic, my cousin thought of what would happen if exorcists and Noahs got to together with a metric ass-load of crack. I think I said butt-ass naked to much. My bad! Please review!^_^


End file.
